mental.af

mathilde's website

Le bout de mes doigts dans le creux de ta paume. Tu caresses des tiens mes phalanges, passe de l’autre côté, puis éprouve la douceur du dos de ma main. Tu dis à mon oreille que tu m’aimes et tout mon corps te réponds.

There is too much things I cannot unsee, many regrets for what have gone. I can’t stop thinking about the past, what I have done and what I havent done. Here I am, standing alone in the void, between these worlds, these peoples. Scorched to the bone, there is nothing left to be done. Goodbye.

Knowing me means getting to know the monsters who live in my brain. They don’t bite really, but can push you to the brink. Take my hand, follow me and let’s dance with the devils in our heads.

Feeling a fresh breeze on my thighs. Crawling in the sheets next to you. Our eyes closing, our breaths louder. I’m all wet, covered by our sweats. And in the end, we die together. Breaking doors wide open.

It’s been almost a month, I need to keep up. Sometimes it’s hard to write, sometimes it’s hard to share what’s coming through my mind. I like it here, I like typing on my keyboard to testify of the days going on. Doubt’s always here, and it’ll stay until the last day, but there is something more. I want to hang on it.

Morte à l’intérieur, bercée par le vent, soulevée par les marées. Je dodeline de la tête, je somnole, vide et pleine à la fois. Emplie de doutes, joies, malaises, douleur et amour. Tout à la fois.

I broke a toe, so that’s it.

J’aimerais sentir mes os se briser sous le poids de ton corps. Que mes côtes percent mes poumons, que j’étouffe dans mon hémorragie. Te suppliant de cracher une dernière fois dans ma bouche grande ouverte, suffocante.

J’aime ton intensité, elle parle à la mienne. Ensemble elles discutent, disent des trucs improbables et font des plans sur la comète. Mais nous on sait.

Push the water heater to the maximum, climb in the bathtube and make the hot water spill like blood all over your body. Watch it burn your skin. It’s freezing cold like a sharp winter breeze. But your skin is melting like snow in the big shinning sun.

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